I recently decided the next few blog posts will have titles adapted from Britney Spears songs. Why? Because Britney bro, that’s why.
Now, quick update regarding Laura v. Clayton. Here’s the deal – as you know, we filed a “Notice of Appeal” and some related paperwork a few weeks back. Some really, really dishonest people (like Dave Neal) tried to suggest this paperwork was “Laura’s appeal”. I think Dave’s point was that the paperwork we filed was actually pretty short, and lacking in detail. If that was our “appeal”, it pretty obviously sucked. Hence, Dave told you that was our appeal. Because Dave doesn’t want the truth. He wants money, and lies sometimes sell better than the truth.
This is just my opinion of course, but it appears to me Dave wanted to mislead people by posting videos with headlines like: “Laura Files Lengthy Appeal!” This is just typical clickbait garbage we have seen time and time again from Dave.
So let’s cut through the bullshit and let’s get you some ACCURATE FACTS:
FIRST, a “Notice of Appeal” is NOT the appeal. It’s just a preliminary document that tells the Court of Appeals (and the lower court) that we’re going to be seeking review….LATER. The Notice of Appeal is NOT where any arguments are presented. Those don’t happen until something called the “Opening Brief”. That document will be LONG (usually 50+ pages) and it will explain, in detail, what mistakes Laura feels Judge Mata made. And BOY are there a lot. The rules don’t limit the number of pages (they limit the number of total words). I personally think shorter briefs are more effective than longer ones, but it’s going to be a real struggle to fit a complete discussion into the word limit.
SECOND, I just received a letter from the Court of Appeals that sets out our briefing schedule. This schedule is GOOD. Per this letter, Laura’s Opening Brief is due December 16, 2024. Technically, that’s the LAST day to file. We COULD file our brief early….and it’s possible we might do that. NO chance we’re ask for an extension. Laura is ready, and I’m ready, so let’s friggin’ do this.
Also, FYI – the letter from the Court of Appeals does NOT set a due date for Clayton’s brief. Why not? Answer = the court doesn’t need to set that date. Under Rule 15 of the Rules of Appellate Procedure, Clayton’s Response brief is due 40 days after Laura’s brief is filed. That means I control Clayton’s due date, not the court.
So, if I wanted to be a total asshole, I could theoretically file our brief right before Thanksgiving. That would mean Clayton’s 40-day limit would start running before the holidays and Woodnick (or whoever is helping) would have to work on the brief over the holidays. Having been in that position myself, let me tell you — THAT SUCKS.
Sorry to disappoint you folks, but I am not a complete asshole (at least not intentionally, and certainly not completely). In fact, there are ethical rules for lawyers that say it’s unprofessional to intentionally screw opposing counsel with deadlines (a rule Woodnick hasn’t exactly embraced, among others). But I’m not Woodnick. I am a nice enough person that I promise this much — I’m not going to file the brief in any way that will mess up Woodnick’s holidays. That’s just silly, immature, and unnecessary. Frankly, I don’t care how much or how little time Gregg needs to work on his brief, because Mata’s errors are so blatant, no amount of additional time is going to help Gregg explain them away.
So that’s the update – look for a LONG Opening Brief from us on or before December 16th. I will of course tweet a link when it’s done….or maybe not? If you haven’t figured this much out, it DOES irritate me to have people leeches (remora?) like Dave Neal making money from sitting there and reading MY WORK on YouTube. Is that fair use? I can see both sides, but it doesn’t change the fact that Dave Neal is a horrible, heartless human being. The thought that my work earns him money is just….barf. I guess that’s part of the rules of living in America – sometimes we have to deal with people who are unpleasant and repugnant. I’m sure that feeling is mutual.
Anyway, if you’re spending time on YouTube later, please avoid the JFC garbage grifters and give some love to Queen Britney instead by watching the video below. It’s a good one, which happens to have been filmed (mostly) in Arizona.
See you in December….
